We could sit with you all day over our venti no whip decaf soy latte and crack a million wisecracks over the new National Day Parade theme song for this year, but you never know if Big Brother is watching.

(If he is, hello there! Plz give us some MDA accreditation pl0x.)

So, instead of leaving one of us to go all-out in b*tch mode, we decided to leave that job to — who else — Twitter. Because the best comments come from individuals who have to use 140 characters in the wittiest, most cutthroat manner to get the most retweets and mentions and “OMG NO YOU DIDN’T JUST SAY THAT GURRRRRL”.

Before that, please sit back, relax and snuggle in your onesie for this epic masterpiece:

Now that you’ve listened to the entire thing (if you actually did, four points to Gryffindor!), please enjoy all the lovely tweets we have collated from the Twitterverse. Their reactions are trufax.

P.S. If you need to recover from that, maybe taking a look back at NDP songs of the past and the alternate songs from last year’s festivities may soothe your broken soul. And eardrums.

https://twitter.com/AnitaKapoor/status/357679805346480128 

https://twitter.com/rxckandrxll/status/357716211162824704 

https://twitter.com/hqmx/status/357693382937681920 

https://twitter.com/skinnycats/status/357756247996510209 

[tweet https://twitter.com/dk/status/357752413354065920

https://twitter.com/kivers_13/status/357750558829973505 

…okay.

https://twitter.com/TheDeeKosh/status/357395335921934336 

Anyone else miss the old Hi-5? Just sayin’.

https://twitter.com/SGAG_SG/status/357769637703852034 

https://twitter.com/simjiayuan/status/357774802808881152 

Darling, I think you should reconsider your wish. Steven Lim in anything is… ’nuff said.

https://twitter.com/XWClara/status/357771306395107328 

https://twitter.com/Shawntmf/status/357780701577347072 

https://twitter.com/chaocheebong/status/357780713711472640 

Hahaha DYING. (Pun unintended.)

https://twitter.com/elextrify/status/357768813791555585 

https://twitter.com/Aeliett/status/357764685610749953 

https://twitter.com/nickyholden9988/status/357746287422095360 

https://twitter.com/clementchio/status/357743156604837888 

GASP NO.

https://twitter.com/TommyWee/status/357736218039037954 

https://twitter.com/warpig678/status/357731495231766529 

https://twitter.com/_blinkkk/status/357729081959251968 

https://twitter.com/spiritz/status/357765607690735616 

Brb, finding Elaine Wan Chan for an interview.