As the days of October pass us by, the looming spectre of Halloween grows ever greater. As any good Rocky Horror fan will tell you — time is fleeting, and it’s high time to decide on a party costume.
The time has come to
lipsync for your life choose between a tacky overpriced rental, or actually have a shot at winning best dressed of the night.
A smokey eye and red lip does not a vampire make. But all is not lost. Conquer the night with these satirical looks that draw from none other than Singapore’s dystopian zeitgeist. Now go forth and get lit like a pumpkin.
#1: PMD Rider
Here’s an idea for the next iteration of Halloween Horror Nights: a Personal Mobility Device (PMD) horror house featuring blind spots, narrow pathways and scare actors speeding around with loud music.
Grab (lol) your nearest PMD, a clip-on Bluetooth speaker, jam out to this amazing techno playlist on Spotify.
Assuming you have a rear view mirror attached (we hope you do), look into it and repeat, “We have the existing infrastructure to be a modern transport hub,” three times for good luck.
Group option: More is more. Round up your boys for a night of road safety.
#2: Scarlett Johansson
Exorcise your post-colonial shadow by serving (meta) theatricality. Write Scarlet’s name on a tag and pin it on whatever you’re already wearing.
You’re now a multi-million-dollar-earning, Caucasian, A-List Hollywood actress. Stay in character while being your comfortable self all night.
Direct all questions to your publicist. Perfect for introverts who have been dragged to a Halloween party.
Group option: +1 as publicist.
#3: The Straits Times Comment Section
Hello, Polis? How Can Dis B Allow?
The terrifyingly bizarre voices from our cosmopolitan city-state, now in A0 size. Need inspiration? Look at the OG Facebook Page here for the best ones.
Group option: Your squad goes as a full comment thread.
#4: University Molester/Peeping Tom
The real question here is which one.
Try going with the obvious nondescript face mask look — if anyone mistakes your costume to be a that of a protester, remind them Singapore does not tolerate dissent.
Group option: Dress your friends up as the GPA Transcript and a CV.
Bigger group option: Lynch mob.
#5: The Brown Face, NETS E-Payment Ad
We’re kidding. Just don’t. Ever.
Group option: Respect everyone. Period.
#6: Single-use Plastics
If you frequently like to refer to yourself as ‘trash’, this may be an easy look for you. Make Greta Thunberg proud by using your body to make a stand against global warming. Just go as yourself.
Group option: You and your friends join forces as a landfill.
Bonus idea: Go as a turtle with a straw up your nose.
Happy trick or treating!