We know what happens in the festival, stays in the festival; but you are still an idiot for wearing a huge Indian feathered hat.

Festivals in Singapore are pretty conservative. Lost a shoe in the mosh pit? Got your iPhone’s recording obstructed by an iPad’s recording? The sun was too hot? Nothing compared to the situation at Glastonbury each year.

With Camp Symmetry (headlined by Mew and Explosions in the Sky) kicking off our November, we have prepared a list of conscience for all the local festival-lovers. Whether you are a hipster armed with your Holga 135 or a beer-swinging man workin’ it with your tank, there are rules to follow (just so that no one gets seriously hurt):

Do's & Don'ts

Don’t bring a donation bag. We’re talking about backpacks and messenger bags because you don’t want to be the one who lugs everyone’s phones and wallets around the sets. Sure, you don’t mind keeping one friend’s phone, and then it’s like a torrent of polite requests and a 2.5kg bag.

Don’t wear to kill. Of course you want to look good and tall with your Zara leather jacket and Jeffrey Campbell heels. Did we mention that this is Singapore? We have constant summer and unpredictable freak rains, so if you want to run for shelter – no heels.

Don’t bring your bank with you. While the merchandises at festivals do tend to run at steep prices, you don’t have to bring a pile of notes, coupled with a bag of coins and a stack of credit cards. Convenient money is a reasonable amount of $10 notes (we’re talking about quick exchanges) and one trustworthy credit card.

Don’t go there to mate. We have STOMP. Enough said.

Don’t reenact Cookie Monster. Littering to mark your spot, and leaving empty beer bottles and tissues for natural decomposition? No matter how much you argue, you can’t win over the NEA’s receipt.

Don’t do a John Mayer. Please. You finally asked the girl out and you are feeling pretty confident, so you whip out your acoustic guitar and— wait, no. You’re at a music festival.

Don’t have itchy hands. Karma always gets you.

Don’t be a smuggler. To quote Camp Symmetry: “If we catch you, you might get expelled!”

Don’t be an idiot. Starting a mosh pit to Last Dinosaurs? Attempting to crowd surf? Wearing a huge Indian feathered hat? Can you not?

Don’t forget that what happens in the festival, stays in the festival. If you have that one good friend who whines about the weather, moans about her makeup, bitches about everyone who bumps into her and leaves you alone; forgive her. The outdoor combination of heat, sweat and alcohol can make anyone a pain in the ass. She might turn back to normal next week.

Do research. Know the line-up and lyrics because it is so easy to spot the one-song-fan in an indie music festival. We suggest picking one or two great acts, doing all your revision, and shamelessly belting everything out to a communal tune on the day itself. You’ll just have to wing the rest.

Do love the neighbour. It is not worth it to get into fights at a festival. Brawling over a set list will only cause you to lose other set lists. Challenging a security guard will only result in a showdown with more security guards. Make love not war!

Do come light. Just the essentials will do: wallet, keys and phone. For girls, bring along that small box of compact powder. Light dressing includes leggings, simple t-shirts and comfortable shoes.

Do have a partner in crime. Go with someone who always has your back! You two should have the same level of stamina and enthusiasm so that toilet trips and smoke breaks are not a problem, but a mutual concession.

Do prepare to zao (Singlish for go) at the end of everything. Prepare transport at the end to avoid 1) walking with the crowd to an unknown MRT station too far away or 2) waiting forever for a taxi or 3) never getting onto that bus.

Do enjoy yourself. Of course, with bands like Best Coast, San Cisco, The Cribs and Wild Nothing, we know you will.

Camp Symmetry

Date: 02 Nov 2013
Venue: The Meadow, Gardens By The Bay
Time: From noon onwards
Tickets: $145 (Standard) to $350 (VIP)